tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36386243152132292592024-02-18T19:10:46.427-08:00The Former Big Fat ProfLylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.comBlogger129125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-36259775414030606562016-08-02T05:00:00.002-07:002016-08-02T05:00:19.442-07:00My Inner TeenagerYesterday I had my first week weigh-in for Ideal Protein. <br />
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Start: 197<br />
Week 1: 191.7<br />
Down 5.3 lbs<br />
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Now that that's out of the way, let's talk experience.<br />
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When I have to tell myself "no", I usually battle my inner teenager. I get pouty (usually internally), and whiny (whyyyyyyyyyy?????) and resentful that everywhere I look are people who are eating and drinking what they want and I have to be strict and focused. It's not constant, but there are moments that test my abilities to resist temptation. <br />
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Some people might experience this when hungry, but if I'm honest with myself, I don't really think that was my problem. I didn't necessarily feel hungry, and the moments that I did, I was able to do a quick salad that did the trick. For me, it is primarily feeling mentally deprived while ALSO feeling the mental challenge of vigilance toward habit-resets.<br />
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This week I encountered two days where I lost my internal resolve to get on track and went off the plan. Both were social. One I feel ok about (a glass of wine at an art show reception), and one was a bigger misstep I can't justify. But I went out of my way to justify it at the time- at a meal with my visiting in-laws, I just convinced myself it wasn't fair to THEM that I was a wet-blanket when we went to a restaurant, so I had off-plan food AND 2 beers. <br />
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Yeahhhhh, I did it for them.<br />
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Yesterday, I had to admit that to my program coach, and it did not feel good. And THAT is why I'm doing a supervised program rather than just doing low-carb on my own (which I know how to do).<br />
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But, hey, successes!<br />
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<ul>
<li>I had 5 days on-plan.</li>
<li>I sat at happy-hour last night with a water while everyone else had a couple beers.</li>
<li>I lost 5 pounds!</li>
<li>I got on here to blog.</li>
<li>I have a plan for how to make this week more accountable.</li>
<li>I did a better job planning dinners and lunches this week, and did a lot of the grocery and farmer's market shopping already.</li>
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So, letting go of my mistakes and moving ahead it is.</div>
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<br />Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-14178734418801923102016-07-26T12:55:00.002-07:002016-07-26T12:55:13.289-07:00The Struggle and Successes of MaintenanceWow, it has been a while! In fact, it's been just over 4 years since I last checked in. <br />
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I come back to Blogger, as I have in the past, to journal about my ongoing weight and health changes, to hold myself accountable when things aren't going well, and to rededicate my efforts to live a life consistent with what makes me happy.<br />
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<b>Where I've Come From:</b><br />
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In 2010, I had lapband surgery to treat my chronic morbid obesity. I had just turned 35 and my highest weight was 289. I went into surgery at 274 after my presurgical diet. <br />
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My weight loss period, in retrospect, was a breeze. I lost consistently and I didn't have very frequent side effects. As I look back on it, I realize that my band was never all that tight but it was certainly doing what it was best at- curbing my hunger. I was also committed-- I followed a low-carb diet and I didn't drink much at all. Within about a year, I was down to my low weight of 155 lbs. I remember at the time that I went in for a plastic surgery consultation and I insisted I wanted to lose another 10 lbs, even though my bariatric surgeon and the plastic surgeon both thought I was at a good weight.<br />
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I bounced back up to about 160 within the next few months, and I stayed there pretty consistently for the next several years. The thing is, it was easy. I didn't have to try hard at all. I went back to eating "regular" food. I still had problems with bread getting stuck (still do!), but rather than avoiding it I kept pushing it.<br />
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I also started drinking wine. Pretty much every single night. Wine is easy down the band! And it's "healthy", right? I had heard about the concept of "addiction transfer" but it never seemed to apply to me. I wasn't drunk, I wasn't having any problems, and I was living a very full, rewarding and active life.<br />
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Then, last year, I experienced the most stressful (and also exciting) time in my life. I made a massive career change and moved across the country with my husband. And at the very same time (literally, as we were packing the truck), my mother became homeless and disabled and I moved her in with us and took over the insane mess of her finances and health care. At the time of the move, my weight was at 170. It was a gain, sure, but after so long doing so well maintaining, 10 lbs didn't seem like a big deal.<br />
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Over the past year, my weight steadily crept up and yesterday, I weighed in at 197. I have been 100% aware of every pound. I know exactly why I gained them all (alcohol and eating out more times than not- both at the same time). I just felt too stressed and overwhelmed to do anything about it but berate myself every night when I went to bed. But interwebs, that's changing!<br />
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<b>Where I'm at Today (well, Yesterday):</b><br />
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It's over-- I'm not going to lose Onederland for behaviors that don't add meaning to my life. Yesterday was my first day on Ideal Protein- I'm making the push to get back to my low-carb eating and that includes not drinking calories in the form of wine and beer.<br />
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For now, I'm going to leave my band relatively unfilled (because, yeah, see how I moved across the country away from my surgeon?). If I need to hop on a plane for a fill in the future, I'll do it, but I really think I'll be ok. I'm going to blog about some of the things I think I need to change in maintenance and I'm going to blog about the successes that my recent weight gain can't take away. Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-42243830392918650742012-06-03T09:17:00.001-07:002012-06-03T09:17:20.159-07:00Exercise Weight Gain, Check.So my scale is showing my exercise weight gain as I've topped 160 for the first time in a while. In fact, today was 162.6 which I haven't seen since my Christmas weight gain.<br />
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I do know some of it is water weight, but I also think I am using exercise as a reason to eat more. I've read a number of studies that indicate one of the reasons that people who rely on exercise for weight loss aren't as successful as those who concentrate solely on diet (i.e. doing one or the other) is because exercisers tend to increase their calories by 2x as much as they burn because they overestimate the effect of exercise. So, in other words, I burn 300 calories and then I consume an extra 600 for the day and then wonder why exercise isn't helping me lose weight. Some of that is increased hunger from energy expenditure, but some of it is simply a mental "I get a treat now that I exercised because they cancel each other out", except that I overestimate the calories burned by my exercise and underestimate the calories in my treat.<br />
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I need to be real with myself here about my band, too. I am definitely pushing my band. Definitely. Yesterday we went to the farmer's market and stocked up on awesomeness (the corn last night for dinner was tender and sweet and I love eating local). On the way home, we stopped at 5 Guys for lunch. I cut my burger in half, and when I was finished with the first half (including bun, which I don't need and causes me problems 5 out of 10 times, so I don't know why I persist), I was definitely full. Band said stop. I even recognized it and said "I'm full". Out loud. And then I picked off the bun from the second half and ate the meat and tomato, plus a few of my husband's fries. I obviously felt sick and uncomfortably full. I am going to have dilation (if I don't already) if I keep this up. <br />
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So today I've decided to start tracking my food for a while again and I'm going to do weekly weigh-ins on the blog. I haven't been following rules or being mindful for a long time now. It's time for a refresher course. In fact, maybe I should do the 5-day pouch test thing? We'll see. I'll start with tracking on myfitnesspal and see where I go from there.<br />
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My goal is not to lose, but to get a handle on being band-friendly and mindful again. This is such a mental battle. I've said it before and here I'll say it again: I am morbidly obese girl in a slightly overweight girl's body. And if I'm not careful, I slide very quickly into unhealthy patterns. <br />
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In nicer news, I went to a running store and got fitted for shoes that will hopefully support my flat foot and hip flexor problems. Aren't they pretty?<br />
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Brooks Adrenaline GTS12</div>
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I walked in them yesterday and did a short half-mile trial run in them today (yes, I ran, I know) in the middle of a longer walk-- and I LOVE THEM. So far so good-- my feet feel very stable and supported and my hips aren't bothered at all. </div>
<br />Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-69927839776992218452012-06-01T05:08:00.000-07:002012-06-01T05:08:56.691-07:00Accidental ExerciseYesterday I accidentally went to a step circuit class. . . and it was fun. I'll be doing that again.<br />
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I have tried step before and I have had problems catching on to the fast moves (that damn t-step thing I still can't figure out), which has left me frustrated. I don't know why Zumba is mostly fine but step is difficult for my non-choreography-friendly brain to process. But whatever. So yesterday I thought I was going to a BodyCombat class, but when I got there, I must have had the times mixed up because it was definitely step.<br />
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Good workout though, so I'll be back!<br />
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I start summer classes next week, so I suppose I should start figuring out a schedule. I'm glad it's only a month. Other summer plans include a trip "home" for a Cardinals game in June, a visit from my new colleague and her partner in June while they search for an apartment, a visit from my mom in July, and a trip to the beach house with pups, sis-and bro-in-law, and friends in August. Other than that, it's wide open but I suspect it will go by super fast.Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-72392863110476034752012-05-30T08:28:00.003-07:002012-05-30T08:29:41.444-07:00Surgery, Socialization, and Service<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So, I had my plastic surgery consult last summer, and the plan is to wait until next summer to do my tummy tuck and breast lift because I'll (hopefully) be on sabbatical in the fall of 2013 and that will give me months of recovery time. But apparently my husband is tired of hearing me moan about my sad sacks, and has suggested maybe I should look into doing my breasts this year and the tummy tuck next summer as planned (I don't have the money for both this summer, so that's off the table). I'm torn. My head says wait-- just go through one recovery, one battle with unfilling and then refilling my band, one anasthesia risk, and a saved $1000 by doing them both at once. It really is the SMARTEST thing to do. But I'm so so tempted to go ahead and do the girls this summer so I can look at myself in the mirror without shuddering in horror (a slight exaggeration, don't worry about me too much).<br />
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Has anyone had a breast lift and want to comment on the process? Last summer my surgeon said I should be fine with a lift-- I have enough tissue left to not need an implant, but I'm not sure if that is still the case. My body sure has changed over the year, even if my weight has been fairly stable.<br />
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In other news, I am finally being a good dog mommy and taking my 7 year old dog to a training class for socialization issues. She is sooo anxious around other dogs that she gets anxious-aggression (snapping) and this is my fault for not ever socializing her. We went to our first class last night and I'm so proud of her. Man, she was not happy in the beginning, crying at me and jumping on me to try to get me to leave (she is a muscular 55-lb dog), but eventually she calmed down and by the time we got home I could tell she was super-proud of herself. We have three more weeks of classes and after that, the training place lets you come back to the same class for free "refreshers". My hope is that by the end of the summer when we go on vacation to Florida, I won't have to shut her up in a bedroom when our friends come to our beach house for the weekend with their dog.<br />
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Today marks a full-two weeks of me actually getting up every day and going on a walk. Sometimes I take the pups, and sometimes I go by myself. I tried to jog yesterday and realized quickly that I'm just not <i>mentally</i> ready for it. On the one hand, I'm afraid that if I push myself to run too soon (an activity I actually loathe), then I'll just quit everything in order to avoid it. On the other hand, I just don't feel like walking is a good workout for me anymore and I need to do more to get my heart rate up. I'm just trying to tell myself it's about the habit for now-- even if all I do is walk all summer, if I do it every day and make it a part of my routine, then who cares if it takes me a while to push myself to do more. Walking every day is a hell of a lot more than I've done in many many many years.<br />
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Right now I'm waiting, for the second day in a row, for the air maintenance person to show up and do the summer service on our central air. I HATE WAITING ON SERVICE CALLS. Why the hell can't they make an appointment with me for a time? Why do I have to sit around my house uselessly for four hours (or more) until they show up? I understand emergency calls take precedence, but they have my freaking phone number-- would it be so hard to CALL ME???? I don't even want to go lay out by my pool, because I don't want to be in my swimsuit when the dude shows up at my house. Argh. *shakes fist in useless frustration*<br />
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<br />Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-50560417988388626942012-05-28T05:25:00.002-07:002012-05-28T05:25:38.492-07:00Happy Long Weekend, U.S. FolksIt's been a while, but I've been thinking of you guys as I just got back from two work trips to Chicago this month and thought. . . . hmmm, I should see when the B.O.O.B.S convention is. I'm thinking about coming this year-- have I missed out on everyone looking for roommates?<br />
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Updates on Me: I got tenure and was promoted this spring at work, and other than that my life is stagnant. I'm actually in the midst of a mini-mid-life crisis at the moment for that reason I think. I'll just throw that out there and then leave it :) Don't worry, I'm not a downer, just trying to figure out a new goal since my weight and career are check-boxed.<br />
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Weight is the same as it has been- steady at 158. I've accepted it as my maintenance weight and am no longer trying to lose. I'm not happy about it, but I'm not upset about it either-- it is what it is and it's easy. Now that I'm not obsessing about losing anymore, I'm finally closer to a steady workout plan (for those of you who don't remember-- I never lose when I exercise--ever) to build up my strength and tone. Part of my mid-life crisis was realizing I need a hobby, so I decided exercise would be a worthwhile one. Who knows, maybe I can channel life angst into exercise fanatacism and actually become fit- ha!<br />
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Hi from Me!!!</div>
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Today we are off to Atlanta to watch the Cardinals play the Braves. It's supposed to be hot as hell, but I plan to be a bad bandster and get a cold beer to help me through the heat :) Hope you all are well and having a good weekend.</div>
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<br />Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-91214868445213925722012-01-25T08:48:00.000-08:002012-01-25T08:48:37.009-08:00Bandster Blogs Are All Grown Up. . . *wipes tear of pride*Oh Anonymous, flaming poster, you've finally arrived to bandster-blog land, officially annointing us as true Interwebs Members. We've been accepted into the douchey, flamey, inner-circle.<div>
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In all seriousness, it seems there is a little epidemic of nasty Anonymous posters lately. I'm sorry for those whom Anonymous has struck (I'm assuming it's more than one anonymous), but please don't let it get you down. It comes with the territory. Something about social communities where people can "hide" brings out the nastiness, even among people who are normally very nice, and it seems to happen in clusters.</div>
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So, keep on posting, sisters, and ignore the nasty. And if you're considering joining the Anon fray and getting something off your chest, I'd urge you to reconsider whether that's really the person you want to be, because we may not know who you are, but you know. </div>
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<br /></div>Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-76170036513965546792012-01-23T15:24:00.000-08:002012-01-23T15:24:24.860-08:00Exercise BlowsArgh! I hate it that every time I start exercising, my scale immediately jumps up (um, like 5 lbs). I KNOW it is water weight, but knowing it doesn't make me any happier. It's the anti-incentive for a behavior that I NEED to see payoff to continue. <br />
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Moral of the story? Yes, I'm not going to Body Pump tonight because my scale is a whore and my body hates exercise. We'll see if I can do better tomorrow.<br />
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(At the very very least, I took the dogs for a walk today so I'm not a complete potato).Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-73983540750647937042012-01-20T06:48:00.000-08:002012-01-20T06:59:56.653-08:00Doggie Trauma!So you all know we have two dogs that are our "kids". They are both 6 years old and have been out of their crates for over 4 years now.<br />
<br />
Yesterday I left home for my WW meeting, and my husband got home about an hour later. He walked in to blood EVERYWHERE-- all of the floor, smeared all over the wall and the big blonde dog. He can't find our other dog. He's panicked and calls me. I panic and rush home.<br />
<br />
Well, it turns out that one of them pulled four art-pottery bowls from Fantoni off of the sofa table, and then they proceeded to EAT ONE ENTIRELY (it has disappeared), break one and gnaw the leather off of the back (this one is in shards and marked with blood-- it seems to be the source of the murder-scene), chew the ends on a third, and eat the leather off the bottom of the fourth.<br />
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This is what the bowls look like. The one that was entirely eaten was a bit smaller- maybe 2x2 inches.</div>
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Edited to Add: The Actual Remains (RIP)</div>
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So we find the missing dog (she was hiding, imagine that), stop the blood flow on the other (his paws and later, his mouth). Knowing my dogs, I just KNOW that the one who is bleeding wasn't the one who ate the bowl-- it had to be the other one. She eats things. When she was a puppy, she ate an entire black "tough chewer" kong. Not chewed it to pieces, I mean ingested the whole thing (the blowout when it came back up was not pretty). So in spite of the evidence, I drive her an hour away to the nearest open vet. She gets X-rayed and it looks clean-- like, at least she chewed it well before swallowing any large potentially hazardous shards. <br />
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The vet looks at me like I'm an idiot when I say that the other dog was bleeding from the mouth and I didn't bring HIM. I was just so convinced because he does not and has never chewed or eaten a non-food item, ever, and Maddy is known for it (rubber kong, tree branches, a huge patch of carpet, dog beds, any piece of paper or cardboard she can get her mouth on, and recently, a brand new tampon that she took from my purse and managed to unwrap neatly, gnaw the plastic away, and then eat the cotton). If one of my dogs is going to devour a CERAMIC BOWL, it's going to be her.<br />
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So anyway, today I'm on big blonde watch because the vet said he'd probably pass anything he ingested without a problem because of his size (he's 125lbs, giant breed), and if he had problems I would see some sign. <br />
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We have puzzled this event through. WHY would they do this now? They have been acting up lately-- last week an entire loaf of french bread disappeared from the counter, paper wrapping and all. That wasn't tough to figure out-- big blonde can definitely pull things off counters and he LOVES bread. Then yesterday we come home to a paper shredded mess in the basement, where some of our stacked bills/etc. waiting for filing had been pulled off the desk and chewed. Again, Maddy got blamed for that given her love of paper even though she hasn't ever pulled something off a table or counter. But POTTERY? Old, Italian pottery (ahem, also it should be noted EXPENSIVE collector piece pottery) that I've had in that exact spot for years?<br />
<br />
It appears we have a dog that has developed separation anxiety at age 6. And he's a big blonde dog that is a Mama's boy. ARGH.<br />
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<br />
Ok, in other news: Does anyone know if you can record a video on your iPad and post it to blogger or somewhere online. If so, how? I can't figure it out.<br />
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Happy Friday!Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-68771623359896760562012-01-16T13:47:00.000-08:002012-01-16T13:47:59.998-08:00PeaceHappy MLK Day. I hope we can all remember that the struggle for equality in this world will never end, but it's an important fight. The world today is a better place because of King and others like him. At the very least, I hope you enjoyed a day off from work :)<br />
<br />
I did a BodyPump class this morning and I have been exhausted all day. I am weak as a kitten, y'all. But I liked it and I think I'll go again later this week. I did BodyFlow on Saturday and it was ok-- I like hot yoga a lot better, but this is closer to my house, cheaper, and it will work for improving my flexibility and general stretching which is what I want it for. I've discovered that I have weak/tight hip flexors that cause me a lot of grief when I do any moderate level of cardio, so I'm going to focus on some strength and flexibility training for a bit before trying to push the cardio. It's so hard for me to get into an exercise routine anyway-- add in a lot of hip pain and I know I just won't ever make it happen so I'm trying to work around it.<br />
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Seriously, I am pooped. I thought exercise was supposed to GIVE you energy. I call foul on that one.Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-21136634899833741142012-01-11T15:38:00.000-08:002012-01-11T15:38:20.127-08:00No New is Good News?Saw my band doc yesterday for about 5 minutes. No fill or unfill-- we're in "wait and see" mode. Ugh. <br />
<br />
He posited a guess that I've had some diaphragm adhesions develop post-surgery and that the pain will go away in time. Apparently, nothing concerning in my abdomen came up in the CT scan and he doesn't seem inclined to follow up with other tests. I guess that's fine with me, but I wish I had a more definite answer. In any case, I'm happy that he wasn't alarmed by my report. I go back in 6 weeks to check back in and (cross my fingers) get a teensy tiny fill. I am ready to make some progress again.<br />
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Ok, now for another health concern (I swear, I am not normally a hypochondriac!) Does anyone else have hypertension? I have NEVER had high blood pressure, but my last three readings over the past week were all high (155/88)! How does someone go from 293 lbs to 160 lbs and develop high blood pressure AFTER losing the weight? It's so completely bizarre. I don't smoke, and I weigh less and am more active than I've been since I was a teenager! Based on some reading I've done, I think I'm going to take the next 6 weeks to my next appt and see if I can lower it without medication by decreasing caffeine and alcohol and increasing my exercise. My hope is it's just a stress-blip, but who the heck knows. If it's not back to normal in 6 weeks, I'll go to my PCP and talk medication. I'd love to hear from anyone who deals with this--what are the implications of managing it with medication?<br />
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The good news is that I'm in a size 8 now, wonder of wonders. It's pretty insane how I haven't lost any weight in months, yet I'm still going down in size. I love this band, pain or no pain!Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-52916203497373702152012-01-09T16:42:00.000-08:002012-01-09T16:42:35.800-08:00Band Complications? I'll keep you posted. . .I hope you all are enjoying your New Year!<br />
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Y'all, I am going to Weight Watchers, but not actually DOING it (as in, not tracking or counting). Ha! I think we can all see where the problem might be. That said, I'm down my Christmas weight and weighing in right 159'ish, which is not the low-low of 155 I've seen, but also right in the same wheel house as the last four months.<br />
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I see my band doctor tomorrow. Actually, I was sitting in his exam room Thursday after a two-hour wait (his office is so overbooked every.single.time) when he was called into an emergency surgery. . . and I didn't actually get to see him. I mean, I couldn't be upset-- emergencies happen. But when they tried to reschedule me for two weeks from that day because they were booked solid in the meantime, I gave them bitch brow and said they could fit me in on Tuesday, thank you very much. I mean, it's not like I don't wait for hours even when I have an appointment months in advance, so it's no difference to me and I really don't care if it creates an overbook for them. They OBVIOUSLY don't have a problem with that. Besides, I really do need to be seen and I haven't seen him since September.<br />
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At the end of November, I had a really sharp bad pain in my left chest area- about where the underwire of my bra hits. (of course, a week after I cancelled my November appt and rebooked for last Thursday, their first available appointment). It went away after a few hours (after I stupidly didn't go to the ER), but then it came back here and there, less sharply and more nagging and uncomfortable, until it really geared up last week to a pretty constant low-grade state. So when I was at his office on Thursday, I thought I'd finally get some answers as I've been assuming it's my band. My self-diagnosis is reflux that doesn't feel like reflux, but of course I'm terrified it's erosion. Well, it kind of got worse Thursday and Friday after my appointment-interuptus, so I decided to FINALLY go to urgent care. The urgent care doc was concerned about a blood clot in my lungs, as the pain I was experiencing was consistent with that and I have a genetic risk for developing them, but as a lapband patient himself (same surgeon, too), he also suspected it was my band. He had a similar pain after losing his first chunk of weight and was told it was because the fat padding of the stomach had gone down and the band was now rubbing on other things internally-- he suggested a slight unfill might help. (ACK! I need a fill, not an unfill!). So anyway, today I had a CT scan to rule out the lung clot (came back clean, btw), and they did an abdomen scan as well. They said everything was normal, so I'm interested to see what band-doc says tomorrow. <br />
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I just hope and pray it isn't anything major with my band. I NEED my band. I can deal with the discomfort of the pain if I know it isn't a sign of something serious, but I also don't want to ignore something that could potentially get worse. <br />
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Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes once I have the semblance of an answer.Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-61083495225853879572011-12-19T07:27:00.000-08:002011-12-19T07:27:53.637-08:00My Secret Santa was. . .Daphne!!<br />
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Thank you again, Daphne, for the great presents.<br />
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(You didn't include your blog and I don't think I follow you-- I'd love to, so can you comment so I can follow?)<br />
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<br />Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-78367742476638398132011-12-16T16:57:00.001-08:002011-12-16T16:57:59.407-08:00JammyJams from the Secret Band Santa<br />
Yay, Secret Santa! (I know who you are, but am I supposed to still be keeping it a secret?)<br />
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My lovely Band Santa sent me the best gift-- these absolutely adorable polka-dot pajama pants (seriously, my husband agreed that you must know me personally to realize how 100% me these are), and a gorgeous dark green dressy-blouse. <br />
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Thank you for being so lovely and thoughtful.<br />
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My package went out today, so my giftee should be getting a package on Tuesday or so.<br />Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-52453480743839120072011-12-09T08:46:00.001-08:002011-12-09T10:06:06.405-08:00Back on the Wagon. . . AgainMan, this semester has seen me be all work no play which means 1) I've once again disappeared from blogland and 2) I went way off-band.<br />
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Before Thanksgiving I'd managed to get solidly into the 157-159 range, but frankly my volume is way up from where it had been and my choices were hmmm, not always great. Still, I was maintaining easily. Then Thanksgiving came and I had my first real gain since before getting banded. It was a kick in the ass for me-- I'd been playing around with the idea of getting serious again so I could get to my goal and actually seeing a real gain back into the 160's on my scale convinced me to go for it. So I joined Weight Watchers (I can't get in for a fill until January). <br />
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One week on WW saw me back down and today my scale showed a new low of 156 so whew. I have always been able to lose about 20 lbs on WW before I get tired of counting and tracking, and considering I want to lose about 20 lbs to get to my personal goal, this will hopefully work out well for me. I know some banded folk are critical of going on weight loss plans after banding-- I've heard people say, for instance, that they got banded so they could be DONE with Weight Watchers. I just don't see it that way-- I have always viewed my band as making it easier to change my eating behaviors, but not to replace the need to occassionally tweak my calories, etc. Sometimes, I mentally need a <strong>plan to follow, </strong>because left on my own, I push slowly toward more and less healthy food. It's that "food addiction" thing-- I like food. I'm a fat girl in an almost-normal BMI girl's body and that may not always be true but it is true for now. <br />
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In other, somewhat anxiety provoking news, I'm having a strange pain under my left rib-cage during deep breaths. Sometimes it is horribly sharp and very painful (when it first happened) and other times it is a twinge here and there (like during yoga). I have to admit that given my band looseness and the volume I've been able to eat lately, that I worry this is a little sign of erosion. Of course I have nothing to back that up with. I have an appointment for January to see my band doc-- if the pain gets sharp or more frequent again, I'll push to get in earlier but otherwise I'm going to wait it out and see. <br />
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Non-Scale Victories: This week I wore 3 different pairs of size 8 pants in different brands (Gap, Banana Republic, Express) and I'm wearing size 10 designer skinny jeans. My shirts are pretty much Medium now (yay!) unless it's clingy to my belly. This week I ran a route around my neigborhood that used to be difficult for me to walk, and I went to yoga today. I got my tenure and promotion application in at work, I successfully supervised 4 different experiments my seniors ran (papers and presentations to come), and I submitted an article to a top journal. I have a HUGE amount of grading to do, I have a Secret Santa and a Sisterhood package (Joyful, I'm a flake, but I do remember) to mail, and an incredible amount of other stuff to complete before the holidays-- but I have the ENERGY to do them, and that is the biggest NSV.Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-74917319777717901312011-10-16T15:00:00.000-07:002011-10-16T15:00:30.077-07:00Sisterhood (I get a D-) and Other SlackingDearest Dawnya-- I FINALLY got your sisterhood package mailed. I sincerely apologize for how long it took me. I have excuses but they don't matter, I just hope that you like and can wear some of the clothes I sent. The good news is that most of them are fall/winter clothes anyway. <br />
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I have just cleaned out my closet of some XL/14/16 clothes and you are welcome to those too :) In fact, if Dawnya doesn't want them, the first person who asks can have a surprise package of "basics"-- a pair of barely worn khaki pants and a series of barely-worn, brand new looking long-sleeved t-shirts in black, white, brown, and teal (size XL) as well as two cute sweaters in XL- one short-sleeved purple, and one dolman sleeve teal. I bought all of these clothes last winter so they are barely worn. Nothing fancy, but serviceable and free. Just know that my track record on timely mailing is spotty at best.<br />
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Now as for the other slacking. . . today I weighed in at 162.4. I have weighed somewhere between 159.8 and 162.8 for two months now. Everytime I seem to be settling right at 160 and almost ready to really break through into the 150's, I bounce back up.<br />
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That's because I'm eating exactly like I did before banding food-choice wise. I just happen to be eating less of it. I am failing myself by making bad choices (I baked cookies AGAIN this week) and by not exercising. And of course I have avoided blogging too, because I'm not concentrating on what I need to do to treat myself right. The only difference between now and every other time I've lost weight and then lost motivation once I got close to goal (never actually made it TO goal) is that my band is helping me maintain. On the one hand, that's good, because that's why I got the band. On the other hand, I've gotten complacent and lazy and if I ever have a complication that requires the band to be removed, I know I can't say I've used this as an opportunity to learn new habits that will sustain me for life. That's disappointing to realize.<br />
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I'm going to first try to get back to blogging and commenting (computer problems have also been contributing to this-- I can't find a good Blogger app for my iPad, anyone know of a good one?). <br />
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<br />Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-61643792310479525092011-10-14T07:51:00.000-07:002011-10-15T08:50:09.337-07:00Quick Request<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have some students doing some research, and they need help choosing the images they will use in that research. If you would be willing to rate a series of 20 photos of female celebrities for how "sexual" the picture is, please click on this link:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri", "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><a href="http://www.surveymethods.com/EndUser.aspx?C5E18D97C38F949FC4">http://www.surveymethods.com/EndUser.aspx?C5E18D97C38F949FC4</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri", "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Please be aware that some of the images contain partial nudity (breasts, but no nipples), so if you're concerned about doing the survey at work with that information, no problem!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Edited to add: Thanks to you that have done it already- my students will be very appreciative. We do want you to rate how "sexual" the picture is, and how people define that is going to vary-- that's ok, that's why we take an average rating :) </span>Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-69042511755384133612011-10-04T11:27:00.000-07:002011-10-04T11:27:39.515-07:00The Book of FaceI followed Drazil's lead and made a Lapband version of my facebook page so I can follow you all there too. Here is the link: <a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1080222578">Zen State</a>.<br />
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I don't know if you've seen MandaPanda's tough love post today, but I needed it. I have been drinking wine EVERY night, and <u>not</u> drinking water every day. It is no wonder I'm not feeling my best these days. I'm not gaining or anything (also not losing), but I just don't feel as strong and healthy as I could. Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-12620250660109674952011-09-28T04:02:00.000-07:002011-09-28T04:04:27.084-07:00Dinner of Champions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This weekend I made these cookies. They are candy-corn crunch cookies, and I substituted white chocolate for the milk chocolate chips. They are monster cookies-- each cookie is 1/4 cup of dough.<br />
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I have eaten. . . more than I intended. I may have had one for breakfast AND dinner last night, with a bean and cheese chimichanga sandwiched in the middle for lunch. So even though I dipped my foot briefly into the 159 territory on Sunday, I have waved it goodbye and settled back in the 160's.<br />
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Ladies, I hope you have the time of your lives in Chicago. I will miss you but I can't wait to hear about the shennanigans when it's all said and done. <br />
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<br />Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-53193507402234725522011-09-22T06:23:00.000-07:002011-09-28T04:03:14.429-07:00Curses!My students insisted that I should play Words with Friends (through Facebook- I downloaded the app on my iPad)<br />
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I listened, and now I'm sort of addicted.<br />
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So if you are a player, my username is. Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-56778303709792530802011-09-17T05:57:00.000-07:002011-09-17T05:57:18.548-07:00My One-Year BandiversaryToday it has been one-year since I was banded.<br />
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In some ways I feel no different. I am the same person after all, and I had such a "healthy" sense of denial from a day-to-day perspective that it wasn't like I was miserable being morbidly obese. I had accepted it and loved myself anyway. But, there is no doubt whatsoever that life is a bit different one-year later. The lap-band has been such a gift and I thank God that I was given this opportunity to get to a healthier weight before I developed any medical complications (not including the back/foot pain) related to my weight.<br />
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A year ago, I weighed 264 on the day of surgery. I had weighed 286 in August after returning from vacation, and my high weight was 293. I low-carbed my way down before surgery to get a jump start and I truly believe that it was the key to my success. I got my mind on board before the band was on board, so I was ready and already practicing "doing my part". Today I weigh 161 and I generally eat what I want, just a lot less of it.<br />
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A year ago, I wore a 3x in shirts, a 46G bra, and 24 pants. Today I wear a M in shirts, a 34F bra, and a 10 (closer to 8 than 12) in pants. Even though I've been stalled at my current weight for a month, my clothes are fitting more loosely. <br />
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A year ago, my measurements were: <br />
Bicep: 17<br />
Breasts: 51<br />
Ribcage: 46<br />
"Top Roll": 53 (this is where my waist is supposed to be)<br />
Hips: 56<br />
Thigh: 30<br />
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Today my measurements are:<br />
Bicep: 12<br />
Breasts: 38<br />
Rib: 34<br />
Waist: 34<br />
Hips: 38<br />
Thigh: 22<br />
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My measurements do reflect a lot of excess skin (my breasts and stomach), but I'm ok with it for now until I can afford some plastic surgery.<br />
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A year ago, I intended to mark my one-year bandiversary with a final attempt at a successful pregnancy. I'd been told the reason I was having miscarriages was my weight and that's what finally spurred me on to try bariatric surgery. Today, though I've been told by every doctor I see that I'm "super fertile" because of the weight loss, I am no longer sure I want to have children. Life is good, as-is. It would be good with kids, too, I know, but maybe that's not the right path for my husband and I.<br />
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A year ago, as outgoing as I was, I was largely invisible to a lot of people without really knowing it. Some of them were people I work with and it is really frustrating to have people acknowledge my existence now when they generally ignored me before (I'm talking to you, creepy coworker). Mostly it's strangers, and to be honest, primarily men. Today, I get doors held open for me, I get checked out constantly, I get chatted up-- it's a strange, strange world. If I were single, I'd be thrilled. I'm not single though and while occasionally it's flattering (I'm talking to you, hot young fireman at the grocery store), usually I find it annoying to be constantly "ducking" my eyes not to invite attention. <br />
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There are a lot of things I still need to work on. I got yelled at during my "yearly" because my urine was so dark my doc said she's surprised I don't have kidney stones-- of course brought on because I don't drink water. And I'm not talking 64 oz-- most days I probably don't even drink 16 oz of water. I do two cups of coffee in the morning and a glass of wine at night and that may be my liquid intake for the day. I'm working on that. I also don't take any vitamins, and I don't exercise. There is a lot of room for improvement and I need to find that inner fire that got me this far to take me those next steps.<br />
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One of the best things about this year, though, was having BOOBS to turn to for support-- in laughter, in anger, and in sadness. Everyone has lifted me up and in turn, accepted my support, and I truly give you all of the credit in the world for my success this year. I honestly could not have done it without you.<br />
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-Yesterday, I turned 36. Here I am in my cute little size medium dress, ready for a fancy-pants dinner and a night at the symphony with my husband. Last year I would have been wearing a loose dress to "hide" my fat. Last night I wore a looser fitting dress because of fashion! Gasp, the thought.<br />
<br />Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-27841945515472974802011-08-30T06:43:00.000-07:002011-08-30T06:49:27.230-07:00Urk.I am no longer a virgin, gentle readers.
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<br />Not in the way you are thinking-- that ship sailed a long, long time ago. No, this time I lost my innocence in a much more unpleasant context: the full stuck episode.
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<br />Stuck on my first bite of raw broccoli? Check. Horrible pain in my chest? Check. Slime? Check. Hiccups followed by the icky PB? Oh yes-- in fact, it took three cycles over 40 minutes to clear the pipe hole.
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<br />I made it 11 months + without experiencing this lovely lap-band phenomenon, thank god.
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<br />The good side is that because of my 2 days of liquids, I lost a lot of water weight and my scale is being momentarily friendly.
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<br />My semester starts tomorrow so I've been super busy working to get things ready. At the moment, I'm stuck at home working because my wood floors are being installed in the master bedroom. Not ideal timing, but I'm glad to get rid of the dog hair carpet that has accumulated over the last years no matter how many times I vacuum.
<br />Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-37391776138268928622011-08-19T19:35:00.000-07:002011-08-19T19:56:24.703-07:00Updates on Me (Fascinating, I Know)Update the first: I talked to my doctor about the Factor V Lieden issue, and she took me off my bcp and we talked prevention (stuff like hydration and semi-frequent stops/walking during long car trips or plane trips). Of course she wouldn't go so far as to openly disparage the fertility specialist, but she did think it strange that he prescribed me bcp after the genetic testing. Apparently it's a "new" genetic disorder (recognized within the last 10 years), but still-- Google, man! I will be discussing a copper IUD with my OB/GYN at the end of the month, but considering I already have issues with heavy bleeding/cramping, I'm afraid the IUD will be miserable. The second option is the Big V for my husband, since we are 99% sure we're not going to try for biological children anymore. Eh, we'll see.
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<br />Update the second: I am eating like I am in maintenance even though I'm not ready to call it quits on losing. But I've definitely not been in the correct mindset for losing- I pay practically zero attention to my diet and while it is exciting that I can do that and not GAIN, it's not where I want to be. I am holding pretty steady at 165 right now and I want to take off 20 more (ideally) and 10 more at the least. Then again, I seem to have bought myself a fall wardrobe that predicts I'm staying right here-- all size 10 pants with nary an 8 in sight. This is me today in my thrift-store steal size 10 Banana Republic slim fit pants (love) and my super-amazing-skinny shirt that makes me look smaller than I am. <a href="http://bfprof.blogspot.com/2011/03/progress-pics7-months.html">(This is me one year ago, for comparison)</a>
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<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI4-Ue9cHKGJ3OO1Gel0bu5_spdGi2ZROwV6-jXdDhRf_-_Mloar7bElWi0OO6nUunaLSdPVT-oZXK7IB5O1aEoZMqpJQGfPtlY795AVyHXkVobr7JHREdgS8CmHvnNc-FLNFuV8mvcs0/s1600/august11front.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI4-Ue9cHKGJ3OO1Gel0bu5_spdGi2ZROwV6-jXdDhRf_-_Mloar7bElWi0OO6nUunaLSdPVT-oZXK7IB5O1aEoZMqpJQGfPtlY795AVyHXkVobr7JHREdgS8CmHvnNc-FLNFuV8mvcs0/s320/august11front.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5642764063063636754" border="0" /></a>
<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9L6lBWbPGJ4vKMPzn_zgb5QRlkeWvx2iiVkzfxsI-rZCAuCcy79_doOB-VD7dmk3K9-sL2crd1-KrA-4QqVOh7ZluUJsG1GApspmCFZARZjXgw4dDbJduQ8ybrERp8VBQEE2hv3x3-Mo/s1600/august11side.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9L6lBWbPGJ4vKMPzn_zgb5QRlkeWvx2iiVkzfxsI-rZCAuCcy79_doOB-VD7dmk3K9-sL2crd1-KrA-4QqVOh7ZluUJsG1GApspmCFZARZjXgw4dDbJduQ8ybrERp8VBQEE2hv3x3-Mo/s320/august11side.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5642764243409800290" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYEJdlGZ6AOA0V7crpCZGB6NrIeSnZa0erh2NvQHRqGw9UtF4b31jQE_LQt3_Nefg2ESTsgszXQG0yi9Tut6cryXtYmPAs2qmss5cQ7LiDCmw_LnIYYIvNa9kBZVv5qhU3JFzXRx2T7eM/s1600/august11.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYEJdlGZ6AOA0V7crpCZGB6NrIeSnZa0erh2NvQHRqGw9UtF4b31jQE_LQt3_Nefg2ESTsgszXQG0yi9Tut6cryXtYmPAs2qmss5cQ7LiDCmw_LnIYYIvNa9kBZVv5qhU3JFzXRx2T7eM/s320/august11.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5642764392436857282" border="0" /></a>
<br />Update the third: We went to see Death Cab for Cutie two weeks ago and had a GREAT time. We got floor tickets, which I never would have been able to do this time last year since my feet were in constant pain from the plantar fasciitis. Not only that, I bought a concert t-shirt in medium. Freaking medium! Concert t's are notorious for being smaller than advertised, imo, so I was surprised as anyone that it fit but it was a definite NSV.
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<br />Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-1144890187260841732011-08-19T18:26:00.000-07:002011-08-19T18:50:51.016-07:00BYOC<span style="color: blue;"><strong>1. How much makeup do you wear daily, how long does it take you and are you loyal to certain brands?</strong></span>
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<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> Daily, none :) I wear basic Oil of Olay SPF 15 moisturizer and call it a day. But, I have of late begun to wear more and this is my regimen: <a href="http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P109936&categoryId=B70">Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer</a> (in place of foundation), <a href="http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P122887&categoryId=B70">Clinique silver eye shadow</a>, <a href="http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P173720&categoryId=S10505&shouldPaginate=true">Shiseido eyeliner</a>, </span><a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" href="http://www.covergirl.com/lashblast-volumeblasting-mascara">Cover Girl lash blast mascara</a><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">, and either </span><a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" href="http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P78834&categoryId=B70">Nars matte lip pencil</a><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> (I have several colors) or </span><a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" href="http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P263909&categoryId=B70">Fresh Sugar Plum chapstick</a><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">, which is amazing.</span>
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<br /><strong><span style="color: blue;">2. Repeat question: I’m going to pick a person not knowing your relationship with them (or even if there is one) and you try to describe this person in 5 words/short sentences.</span>
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<br /><span style="color: blue;">Your oldest paternal aunt</span></strong></span>
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<br /><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Artist</span>
<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Free Spirit</span>
<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Mom</span>
<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">One girl with 6 brothers</span>
<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Warm</span>
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<br /><span style="color: blue;"></span><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: blue;"><strong>3. Tell me about your first real kiss and how old you were.</strong></span>
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<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Oh wow. How bad is it that I don't really remember for sure? Why yes, I have kissed my fair share of young gentlemen. I will say it was probably a boy named Lincoln at church camp around 7th grade. Yes, at church camp. I'm telling you some down and dirty stuff went on there every year. Praise the Lord!!!! ;)</span></span>
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<br /><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: blue;"><strong>4. If I gave you $1000.00 and told you that you had to give it to a charity – which charity would you choose and why?</strong></span>
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<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">I would give it to the Rape Crisis program that I volunteer for. They do much needed work. American society likes to give lip service to sexual violence, but when it comes to the nitty gritty they'd prefer to believe that rape doesn't exist and that women who are violated are just "crying rape" or lying, or worse, that somehow they deserved it for not locking themselves away in their homes or because they dared to trust their guy friend and actually drank alcohol in his presence. </span></span><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">It's horrible how we, as a society, treat women and girls and men who are the victims of sex crimes and I am pro</span></span><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">ud to be a part of a program that </span></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">makes it our mission to be there 100% for the survivor as they go through the forensic evidence collection process and beyond. </span>
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<br /><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: blue;"><strong>5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blog land and in real life.
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<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: normal;">I have been absent from blogland for about 2 weeks now and I miss you all! I spent the time trying to give myself an attitude adjustment, which has largely been successful. I also redid my bathroom-- painted the walls, replaced the showerhead, shower rod, towel bars, tissue holder-- everything, not to mention the towels and adding some art/decoration. We also finally bit the bullet and bought hardwood for our bedroom-- the installer comes in a week and my allergies can't wait (carpet and dogs do not mix). </span>
<br /></strong></span></span>Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3638624315213229259.post-41715498469627952552011-08-04T05:33:00.001-07:002011-08-04T05:53:05.278-07:00Fat is Not The Cause of Every Ailment: Anger Issues!!We are in the process of trying to shore up our retirement savings with an investment company that sets retirement through life insurance/disability insurance that rolls into dividends. Of course they are being super intrusive about our medical history before they admit us. Through this process, I was told that I have Factor V Leiden, a genetic clotting disorder (the underwriter ferreted it out of my medical record and had all kinds of questions to which I had no answers, because I've never heard of it).<br /><br />To say that I'm angry is an understatement.<br /><br />I know exactly where it comes from-- the only time I've ever had genetic testing was in 2009 by the fertility specialist after my last (of 3) miscarriages. I remember the conversation-- he said I had tested positive for a blood related disorder, but that it was no big deal because I only had one not two copies of the gene and that it couldn't explain my miscarriages but would mean I would probably need to go on aspirin early for future pregnancies to thin my blood.<br /><br />And then he told me that nothing significant popped up otherwise and his best guess was that my miscarriages were because I was so fat, and that I should get lapband surgery before I tried to get pregnant again.<br /><br />And then he prescribed me a birth control pill to prevent any accidental pregnancy until I had the surgery and sent me on my merry way.<br /><br />Fast forward to now, when I'm told I have Factor V Leiden and they want to know what kind of treatment I'm receiving for it. The answer: none. I'd never even heard of the term (because the doc used these really general terms and basically acted like it was no big deal).<br /><br />Um, except that it is a big deal. First, it is CLEARLY the cause of my last miscarriage without any doubt whatsoever. Factor V Lieden is a clotting disorder-- it makes you more likely to develop deep vein thrombosis, clots that travel to the lungs (pulmonary embolism), and surprise surprise, clots and miscarriages in women who become pregnant. In my last pregnancy, I had blood clots in the chorion right outside the placenta the entire pregnancy, which caused me to keep bleeding fairly heavily even though the baby was growing great with a normal heartbeat, etc. Seriously, I had weekly ultrasounds with it because we were monitoring the clot size and the baby size. And then at 13 weeks I lost it in the ER.<br /><br />I did not have a miscarriage because I was fat. I had a miscarriage because these huge blood clots formed and compromised the uterus. But once again, obesity is the default reason for EVERY health problem in a fat person. How do you treat it-- just lose weight! Um, yeah, I have lost weight and from what I'm reading I'm still probably going to have blood clots during pregnancy that increase miscarriage, stillbirth, and traumatic birth. Thanks for that info, fertility specialist! Also, thanks for prescribing me birth control pills, which are absolutely contraindicated for someone with blood clotting disorder! Oh yeah, and for telling me to have surgery, but then not telling me to make sure I tell the doc about my blood clotting disorder which is a risk factor for surgery because that's when I'm most likely to experience a pulmonary embolism!<br /><br />I'm just pissed beyond belief that I have to find out this info from a freaking life insurance underwriter. And yes, I'm pissed at myself that I just took in that nugget of info and took his word for it that it was no big deal and never even though to educate myself.Lylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09330598009302675050noreply@blogger.com13