Today it has been one-year since I was banded.
In some ways I feel no different. I am the same person after all, and I had such a "healthy" sense of denial from a day-to-day perspective that it wasn't like I was miserable being morbidly obese. I had accepted it and loved myself anyway. But, there is no doubt whatsoever that life is a bit different one-year later. The lap-band has been such a gift and I thank God that I was given this opportunity to get to a healthier weight before I developed any medical complications (not including the back/foot pain) related to my weight.
A year ago, I weighed 264 on the day of surgery. I had weighed 286 in August after returning from vacation, and my high weight was 293. I low-carbed my way down before surgery to get a jump start and I truly believe that it was the key to my success. I got my mind on board before the band was on board, so I was ready and already practicing "doing my part". Today I weigh 161 and I generally eat what I want, just a lot less of it.
A year ago, I wore a 3x in shirts, a 46G bra, and 24 pants. Today I wear a M in shirts, a 34F bra, and a 10 (closer to 8 than 12) in pants. Even though I've been stalled at my current weight for a month, my clothes are fitting more loosely.
A year ago, my measurements were:
"Top Roll": 53 (this is where my waist is supposed to be)
Today my measurements are:
My measurements do reflect a lot of excess skin (my breasts and stomach), but I'm ok with it for now until I can afford some plastic surgery.
A year ago, I intended to mark my one-year bandiversary with a final attempt at a successful pregnancy. I'd been told the reason I was having miscarriages was my weight and that's what finally spurred me on to try bariatric surgery. Today, though I've been told by every doctor I see that I'm "super fertile" because of the weight loss, I am no longer sure I want to have children. Life is good, as-is. It would be good with kids, too, I know, but maybe that's not the right path for my husband and I.
A year ago, as outgoing as I was, I was largely invisible to a lot of people without really knowing it. Some of them were people I work with and it is really frustrating to have people acknowledge my existence now when they generally ignored me before (I'm talking to you, creepy coworker). Mostly it's strangers, and to be honest, primarily men. Today, I get doors held open for me, I get checked out constantly, I get chatted up-- it's a strange, strange world. If I were single, I'd be thrilled. I'm not single though and while occasionally it's flattering (I'm talking to you, hot young fireman at the grocery store), usually I find it annoying to be constantly "ducking" my eyes not to invite attention.
There are a lot of things I still need to work on. I got yelled at during my "yearly" because my urine was so dark my doc said she's surprised I don't have kidney stones-- of course brought on because I don't drink water. And I'm not talking 64 oz-- most days I probably don't even drink 16 oz of water. I do two cups of coffee in the morning and a glass of wine at night and that may be my liquid intake for the day. I'm working on that. I also don't take any vitamins, and I don't exercise. There is a lot of room for improvement and I need to find that inner fire that got me this far to take me those next steps.
One of the best things about this year, though, was having BOOBS to turn to for support-- in laughter, in anger, and in sadness. Everyone has lifted me up and in turn, accepted my support, and I truly give you all of the credit in the world for my success this year. I honestly could not have done it without you.
-Yesterday, I turned 36. Here I am in my cute little size medium dress, ready for a fancy-pants dinner and a night at the symphony with my husband. Last year I would have been wearing a loose dress to "hide" my fat. Last night I wore a looser fitting dress because of fashion! Gasp, the thought.