Friday, March 25, 2011

Wah, Wah, Debbie Downer


That pretty much sums up my mood today. I'm just not feeling it-- "it" being everything. I actually left my house this morning PLANNING to stop at Burger King and get a croissant breakfast sandwich because I was feeling defeated. I didn't-- I was able to fairly easily talk myself out of it once I got in the car, but this was a prime example of emotional eating at its finest.

I have been consuming empty calories in the form of wine every day for two weeks. I went out with the girls last night and ate too much Greek food (which included saganaki, salad, and shrimp tsepi-- at least I didn't eat the pita, only the inside), stuffing myself silly.

At said dinner, which was a birthday dinner for two friends (we all work together), one birthday girl (M) picked a fight with the second birthday girl (A) right at the end. M had already managed to make me feel like shit by completely denigrating work I do (writing book chapters instead of publishing journal articles in my field is "less than", which I know, but I really didn't need her going on about what a joke they are and how it makes her respect people less when I'm sitting right there). Then she picked the fight as we were almost ready to leave. I won't go into details, but basically, A has been doing some work with M but A has gotten a new job and has had to pull back a little-- M doesn't think it's fair for various reasons.

I absolutely know this sequence of events is why I feel bleh today. M is "new" to our group in the last two years and though I had my doubts about her early on, I've pushed past that and welcomed her with open arms. But last night made me realize-- I don't think I like her very much as a person. I think she acts too young for her 29 years, that she is selfish and rude, and that she has an ego that is completely out of line with her actual abilities.

I'm sort of sad to lose a friend, and I'm not sure how to act since we work together and I see her every day. Maybe I shouldn't write her off-- it would be more mature and reasonable to have a frank conversation with her, I think, but I also think that would only change how she acts around us and I've discovered I am just not a fan of the person she is underneath it all. When she lets loose and really shows her true colors, I consistently find her arrogant and close-minded.

So anyway, today is a struggle and it's only 9:30 a.m. But I clearly know WHY I'm feeling what I am-- maybe that will help me stay mindful of my eating and my urges to eat gross fast food to comfort myself :)

I wish you all a much more pleasant Friday!


  1. Good for you for thinking this out and good for you for being able to drive right on past BK! That takes some real self control. I can so relate to your post. It is so important to understand the "why" of why we reach to food for comfort. Amen sister...great post. Hang in there.

  2. Sounds like me this week. Drinkin' and eatin' which I love but it needs to be curbed a little!

    First off M sounds just like you said. Selfish and rude and no one should have to subject themselves to people like that! We all do but we shouldn't. Having a frank conversation with her can be good but it can also leave her open to make you feel worse and regret it.

  3. I would say just phase her out. There's no point in having the conversation because it would just lead to a fight and you work with her so you have remain professional. She doesn't sound mature enough to handle a frank conversation. I say be polite but keep outside interaction to a minimum. Hope your day gets better. Good for you for skipping the BK!

  4. I posted a similar post today about selfish and uncaring friends. I am battling the demon of rather to stay or to go? I'm sorry you're going through a similar situation; I know it hurts. :(

  5. I applaud you for showing restraint and not smacking her in the back of the head - would be my first impulse. But, sometimes we need to know who our true friends and relationships are and who we need to step away from..

    It sounds as though stepping away might be the best, I don't think she will change who she is and will most likely push you to actually smacking her in the head eventually - which might just land you in jail - wouldn't want that!

    ((((hugssssssss)))) to you.. Enjoy the weekend!

  6. Hi Lyla, I went through similar things at work this week...I think its great that you were able to fight your BK urge...Its hard when friendships are meshed with work. I agree with Lisa, now that you have recognized her smallness and pettiness I'd step is so short to let people like this bother you. I know more easily said than done!!! Have a great weekend.

  7. your "friend" has got to go. she makes you feel bad about using your talents to write textbook chapters??? that just doesn't even translate in real life... you DESERVE to have friends who celebrate and support your talents. period. and no explanations to her are necessary.... let her figure it out.

  8. So sorry to hear about this woman. I hate people that are so unmindful of others feelings. I'm glad, however, that you are aware of what is driving these unhealthy eating urges, and have stopped yourself. That is HUGE

  9. Drama is SO annoying, so I understand exactly why you don't want to have a conversation with her. The last few days have made me realize what true friends are and I don't need the dramam mamas. :) I hope your situation gets better. And NEVER feel bad about yourself and what you do. She can take her journals and stick them where the sun don't shine!