Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Will. . . Not. . . Kill. . . Husband.

Just a quick little gripe-- one that you ladies with a partner might understand only too well.

I booked our trip to Punta Cana in January. That's 6'ish months ago, for those of you counting. I said to husband, who is normally "the anal one", that he needs to get his passport and not to wait. I then proceeded to remind him a couple of times-- don't forget you still need to get your passport for our July trip.

So in completely uncharacteristic fashion, he blows it off until today. Today is exactly 31 days before we are supposed to be flying out of the country. He gets to the passport office, they process his application, and then as he's leaving the lady tells him she doubts it will make it by our trip since it's taking 4-6weeks for passports.

He calls me in a panic. I say, ok, so why didn't you expedite it? He says he couldn't (which was a lie-- he had no idea what the hell I was talking about and the passport office-- also the post office-- could give a shit about actually being helpful and informative about options if it takes two extra seconds of their day). So after somehow trying to blame me for all of this, which is his #1 stress reaction-- make everything my fault no matter how much he has to stretch to do it-- he goes back to the office and inquires about expediting. They say, ok, but you need to pay us more money and it has to be before our office closes because we've already notarized your application and we can't give it back to you to start again tomorrow. So he leaves, and calls me bitching because he has to drive 30 minutes home to get our checkbook and 30 minutes back and by then it will be too late. So I say, won't they take a money order?? And he's like, yeah, but how do you get one of those.


The mind boggles that he is a well-educated man with a graduate degree and lots of people working for him.

So I say, uh, get some cash, then go to Walmart. Or, I said, better yet, I bet you can get one at the dang post office! Which he denies. But then after blustering (I may have hung up on him), he manages to go back to the post office and ask HOW MUCH additional it will cost for the expediting, and then leave the post office to go to Walmart for a money order, then go BACK. And, I feel a little gleeful telling you this, what did the passport clerk say to him as he was handing her the money? "We have money orders here, you could have just bought some stamps and got cash back, then done the MO here."

The end result is that unless something else went wonky, he should have his passport in 2-3 weeks, just in time for our trip.

But, I will tell you that there was about an hour of time there where I was planning on going to Punta Cana on my own and finding a new dang husband ;)


  1. Grrrrrrr! Men! This sounds like something I could have written about my husband on any given day! Hang in there! Vacay is close!!!

  2. Argh! I would've killed him. That is SUCH a man for you!

  3. The word for man should not be should be helpless. We could say "I'm married to a helpless. My helpless can't cook dinner." Etc. Etc.

  4. Wow! Men are frustrating... for sure.

  5. haha guess who's husband has done almost the exact same thing? He send his off late. It came back rejected. He sent it again and goodness knows if he will get it in time.

    Is there a place he can go stand in line and get one? Mine might have to fly to DC and get his (UK embassy).

    I told him that he can blow off his passport but he will be all by himself at home while Grace and I go on our vacation without him.


  6. That is hilarious. Men are so special. It's like how do they even dress themselves in the morning. And they are supposed to be the head of the household. NOT!!

  7. lololol! Okay I am feeling better now. I didn't get to read this yesterday but I am glad I waited. I am so irritated at my husband this morning and needed a mood lifter!

    My husband sounds just like yours. Smart, educated, mostly the anal one then BAMMMMM the maleness comes out! I wish I was going on vaca with ya!

  8. Oh my goodness! My husband is also helpless! we also just got my daughters passport application in yesterday, and I can't believe how much it cost to expidate it.

  9. My well educated extremely anal retentive husband does stuff like this far too often - it's completely mind boggling sometimes!! Good work on not actually killing him!!