Monday, January 24, 2011

Vacation-Related NSV

After days of research and comparison shopping, I just booked our summer vacation to Punta Cana. The pic is from the resort we're staying at. I am both excited and also a little nauseous about plunking down the chunk of change all at once. I've checked and double-checked, but I'm still paranoid that I put in the wrong dates, or spelled one of our names wrong, or did something else stupid that I can't change. Hello Anxiety! Now I have to wait until July :) But it will be a nice reward for finishing the spring and summer semester teaching.

One of the things that I did when I booked was reserve myself into the middle airplane seat on two of the flights. This is fairly monumental. Up until now, I have always made my husband take the middle seat, while I preferred the aisle, where frankly I could hang over all I wanted until the beverage cart came through. The window was ok, but the middle seat was a nightmare of self-consciousness and discomfort as I tried to make myself smaller than I was for the sake of my aisle-mates. My husband commented that he was looking forward to getting the aisle seat now that I've lost weight, and so even though no matter what I weigh I'm not going to love the middle seat, I know that now I can sit there more comfortably. So I put myself in it and reserved him the aisle :)

I also ordered 3 new swimsuits from LandsEnd that were on clearance (with an additional 30% off and free shipping, I paid less than $70 for three suits). It was sort of a crap shoot, because I'm not sure what size I'll be in by this summer, but the deals were too good not to take a chance. The one I'm most unsure about is the size 16 top, which will fit me now but will probably be too big then-- I'm hoping because it's swimsuit material and I have large breasts that being too big won't be an issue/largely unnoticeable. The other two tops I ordered in a 14. I ordered the bottoms in 12 because I typically go down in size on the bottom before the top (see previous mention of big boobs). We'll see when they come in, since I can always return what won't work.

In any case, I think I will be slightly smaller on this trip than I was during our honeymoon 11 years ago. I'm pretty sure I was in 14/16 clothes, which is where I am right now. I have become pretty comfortable parading around in a bathing suit in public since we are beach-type people-- I just don't worry about it. It's weird, but I'm really hoping I'm not more self-conscious now. Now hear me out. At 270-290 pounds, there was no sense in worrying about what I looked like in a swimsuit. It just wasn't pretty, period, so I got over it. But smaller, I hope I don't suddenly put pressure on myself-- you know, like oh my boobs look great, but look at how fat my thighs are! There are times when I put pressure on myself to look better now because I DO look better now. Does that make sense?


  1. Punta Cana! Wow... So gorgeous!

  2. sounds like a blast. The middle seat will be wayyyyyyyyy more comfortable but I agree no matter how skinny one is they are never fun

    As far as body image issues yes in some ways I am more self-conscious. I hope you skip that part of this whole thing :)


  3. Sounds like so much fun! Great NSV with the plane seat. I almost cried the last time I was on a plane because the seat belt barely fit.

    I've read a lot of blogs where people become more critical of their body once they lose weight because they start taking a good look. I could see myself doing this. Being overweight, I don't look in the mirror and really LOOK becuase I'm not liking what I see. Lose weight and all the sudden, you're looking a the mirror all the time. LOL.

  4. Looks like a wonderful place!

    I know what you mean about not knowing what size you'll be in July. Yeah for the middle seat!

  5. Punta Cana sounds (and looks) so inviting right about now. I was cold outside tonight in the cold and rain, brrr....You deserve this vacation and I'm sure you'll be smaller than you were on your honeymoon by the time your vacation rolls around. Yowser!