Sorry I haven't been around and commenting-- my mom and niece have been here for the past week (they leave this afternoon) and I've been busy entertaining them.
A lot of this week has been spent in swimsuits and clothes shopping (urgh, my bank account!). We took an impromptu trip to Pensacola Beach over the weekend and also have spent time at my pool. My mom hadn't seen me in person since my surgery, so she's been very complimentary and though my niece hasn't said a word about my weight loss, of course she's been hearing the conversations about it. She turns 13 in a couple of days, and she's right in the thick of her body changing in ways that typically make adolescent girls' body image plummet. I REALLY hope I'm not in any way contributing to her feeling bad about her weight or her body. Especially since she heard me tell my mom I have a consultation with a plastic surgery tomorrow morning.
I feel like I need to tell her that it's ok to have a non-perfect body, but I can't because it would make me a hypocrite. Basically, my trip to the ps is based on appearance and it makes me think I must be in denial about how I feel about my body, deep down. I mean on the one hand, I really sort of believe that I accept my body and I'm fine just the way I am. But on the other hand, I'm visiting a surgeon to see how much it would cost to fix my breasts (sooner rather than later), out of pocket, because the way they look is really starting to bug me. These two things don't add up. I'm not sure how to deal with the discrepancy. Maybe the price tag will deal with it one way or the other.
I'll also be asking for an estimate on my tummy work, but that will definitely be a year to two out. I have a lot of fat to lose yet (I think this last 30 lbs will show significant belly loss because it's definitely the sight of the most fat), and I want to wait until I have a good amount of non-interrupted recovery time for that particular surgery. But to be honest, I'd like to have the breasts done as soon as I can afford it (I think reduction, but maybe just a lift- that's something I'll find out tomorrow).
In weight news, my typical period-loss happened, and I have a new low of 168.